Cognitive Dissonance

“If you feel uncomfortable with yourself, you won’t feel comfortable too around another people.”

Fara’s personal mind.

There’s nothing wrong with the society. I live in someplace that another people always want to know what we did. That’s called culture, my sociology teacher said. Culture that mostly Indonesians did. But if you feel uncomfy about yourself, it might be annoying. To join the club, we should have something that is principal so we can do acculturation and assimilation without too deep follow the mainstream. In my side now,  I haven’t princip and I feel uncomfy about myself, so it not gonna be work. Join the club or organization is the purpose to make some self-actualization, to see that we can do better and better, we can learn from the organizational’ dynamic and the people around there. In my case, how can I make self-actualization if, Maslow said, my safety need aren’t fullfilled? That’s the hierarchy and if we don’t fulfilling our basic, we not be able to pass the higher level.

My academic counselor said that we can’t do Freud’s theory about self-defence mechanism for a long time. I did it, repressing my negative emotion into unconscious area. And it makes lotsa fatigue. Is it my fault if I act antisocial, apatis, hypocrite, pathetic, and egoist? That’s such of my natural defence because I want to hide some painful memories. Ah, rationalization.

I should saw my problem from humanistic theory. Or behavior? Cognitive behavior? I am not such a rat who they can predict my behavior; if they gave me feed after I push the button, I’ll repeat it. Hey man, I’m not that stupid! So, what perspective can explain my problem when there are bullshit? None. OK, I know I’m stupid for that theory. I know nothing.

So then, what can I do for this-suck-cognitive-dissonance?

Offline, 7-5-2011, 22:14

....'Cause it's made me do a lot of thinking. What I've realized is why I'm such a bitch all the time. I'm a bitch because I'm angry. I'm angry because I have all of these feelings. Feelings for you, that I'm afraid of dealing with, because I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences.... I'm afraid of the talks, and the looks.... I'm so afraid of what everyone will say behind my back...

Santana’s dialogue on Glee Season 2 ‘Sexy’